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Can one truly have a happy divorce? No, one cannot truly have a happy divorce because the process is two-fold: business and personal. You have to divide up all of your things plus deal with the emotional aspect of a break up. However, you can get out of the process without being truly miserable and have moments of true happiness.
Over the years we have seen what hinders and what assists in a divorce, and what can lead to a happy divorce. The following are some tips to help you achieve as close to a happy divorce as one can hope for.
- Realize you are not alone and join a support group. In 2015 Oklahoma topped the list for the highest divorce rate in the United States with 32 percent of Oklahoma adults who have ever been married having been divorced. It is fair to say that divorce is not uncommon in Oklahoma, so don’t fall prey to stigma. Find support early on to help you navigate the emotional toll of a divorce.
- Find a new hobby. Focusing your time and energy on something other than the dissolution will help clear your mind and you might even make a new friend or two along the way. Healthy distractions such as exercise, education, or time with friends and family are especially helpful during this process.
- Don’t involve the children. As much as one might dislike their other parent at this time, you have to remember that person is the mother/father to your child. Your child loves that person and doesn’t necessarily share the same feelings you may have. For more on this topic see Chris Smith’s previous post on the subject here.
- Be organized! Your attorney will ask you for many documents over the course of your divorce. Providing them in an organized fashion and in a timely manner will help reduce the time your attorney must spend going through the documents. Organization also saves you money. Less time = less time billed to you by your attorney!
- Determine what is most important to you. Is it more important to you to get personal property out of the home, investment accounts, liquid cash or just to move forward? By law you will be entitled to receive certain assets from the marriage, but at some point you have to weigh the cost benefit of obtaining more. Remember that the more time and effort expended on your behalf by your attorney is likely going to cost you more money. Sometimes it’s worth it to buy new rather than pay your attorney to fight for the old. We are always here to fight for you, but the decision must be yours!
- Acceptance. Even if you are not the one wanting out of the relationship, once you come to terms with the fact that it is happening you will be in a much better place.
Few that have been through the process would associate “happy” with their divorce, however, these few little tricks can help you navigate your divorce process in a manner that will help you have a happy divorce.
The family law attorneys at Ball Morse Lowe approach every case as if it could be amicably resolved, while at the same time preparing to win in court. If you are facing a family law question, let us help. Contact us today at405-701-5355 to schedule your initial consultation.