Six Benefits of Mediation During Divorce

More than 90% of cases reach a settlement before going to trial. This means that the intense courtroom scenes we often see on television represent just a small fraction of what a family law attorney typically handles. Many cases don't go to trial because settlements offer benefits that a trial might not provide or achieve. 

Settlements might happen through informal talks between the parties and their attorneys, but they often take place in formal mediation. Many judges in Oklahoma will even require mediation to occur prior to setting a trial date because this statistic shows that this is a good way to keep the Judge’s’ schedules open for other hearings.  

Why is there such a high success rate with mediation? I suggest it is because of the control it gives both parties over their own outcome in a litigation that many times feels out of your control.  

The list of the benefits of mediation runs long. Here are some examples:  

1. Resolves Misunderstandings: In mediations, parties often remember the relevant incident differently. This usually happens because there was poor communication or because tensions were heightened due to pending litigation. Often, meeting in a relaxed environment can provide an opportunity for parties to discuss issues, helping everyone understand the allegations and concerns more clearly. It can break tension and open everyone up to settlement negotiations to an extent they could not before.  

2. Confidential: Mediations are confidential, so parties are protected in multiple ways and incentivized to negotiate. First, no party may leave with notes they have taken during a mediation. Second, your mediator cannot be called to testify about anything that occurred during the mediation. Most importantly, offers exchanged in mediation cannot be used against you at trial. For instance, if during mediation one side proposes joint custody, but later at trial claims the other party is unfit for joint custody, that initial proposal cannot be used in trial to challenge your concern.

3. You Take Control: When mediating, the results are in your hands. You can accept or decline any offer or term that you would like. You can go to trial on all issues or just a few. No matter the results, you know your situation better than any judge ever will after hearing a one- or two-day trial. Mediation allows you to take the reins and decide where you are willing to bend in negotiations and where you are not.  

4. Customization: The law often limits what a Judge can order in a case. For example, the statute provides us with child support guidelines that will not be waived without an agreement. Additionally, a standard visitation schedule is often applied. In mediation, you can adjust a holiday visitation schedule to better match the holidays that have traditionally held importance for both parties. Further, the parties can agree to provide more time for one party to pay back child support than the usual limit of three years. Customizing your Order down to the smallest details can help reduce disagreements in the future, particularly in a coparenting situation.

5. Choice of Mediator: When required to mediate or when choosing to mediate by agreement, the parties and their lawyers can select the mediator for their case. This allows for the attorneys to find someone who is extremely knowledgeable in your case type or maybe a novel issue that is involved. It also allows you to find a mediator whose location works best for everyone. Usually, and post-pandemic especially, many mediators allow for remote appearance for anyone unable to come in person. Additionally, you can choose a mediator that keeps the parties separate throughout the mediation. This eliminates the confrontational environment of a courtroom and allows each party to speak freely with their attorney and the mediator. This is also extremely helpful in situations where domestic violence was present during the relationship.   

While mediation can sometimes lead to frustrations, these are often overshadowed by the client's ability to control their own presentation and outcome. In a divorce, it's unlikely that all parties will be satisfied with every detail. So, it's best to decide which aspects are most important to you as your case concludes. 

What are you willing to settle for to be able to gain all of these benefits? If all parties can come into mediation with a willingness to compromise, it often leads to the best environment for a successful mediation.  

The attorney who advises you during mediation is important and strategy is vital, even though not held in a courtroom. Our team of Family Law attorneys at Ball Morse Lowe is ready and eager to guide you through this process and to settle if it’s in the best interest of you and your family. 

Call us at 405.701.5355 to schedule your free, no oblications consultation.